My T'hy'la
by Miss Miazaki
Summary: Spock cant stand Jim's singing, so what is a Vulcan to do? nothing graphic. slash /// Spock x kirk... whole bridge helps kirk annoy spock...oneshot


"Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.  
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?  
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.  
Gun it comin' off the line Sharona  
Never gonna stop, give it up.  
Such a dirty mind-"

"James why do you continue to sing such obnoxious attempts at music, during the time I have designated to meditation, which is necessary for me to maintain optimal mental wellbeing"

Spock's eyebrow twitched as Jim did another circle around Spock with his hairbrush in lieu of a microphone, mp3 player and mini-speakers in the other hand blasting the offensive music.

"That's easy1 it's because you're M m m m My Sharona!!" The last part timed to be exactly in sync with the voice over the speakers. "And cause I love you, and sometimes love hurts." Never ceasing his circular dancing patterns

Spock massaged his temples and spoke, his voice gentle but firm, "if you are going to remain detrimental to my meditation, please amuse yourself elsewhere."

"Fine, fine, I'll go." A quick peck on the lips, and James was gone. Spock resumed meditating, and it was going pretty good too…

But let's see what dear Jimmy is up to:

"Hey Guys!" a joyful voice rang across the bridge "Who wants to help me annoy Spock?"

Uhura: "ME!" and jumps out of her chair

Sulu: "I don't really know if-"

Chekov: "I vanna help zee captain!"

Sulu: "fine I'm in too then"

Scotty: "I cannae find anthin' better ta do…"

Jim turned to the last person who was loitering away from his post on the bridge, "Bonsey!"

Bones: "Keep me out this mess! If y'all're gonna go be miffin' Spock, I aint takin no part of it!" As we all know when Bones gets mad, his southern accent increases ':|

"Oh well bones, suit yourself…"

"So that makes us?" asks Uhura

James cries "The Annoy Spock Force Five!!!"

Bones grumbles to himself "You forgot to count yourself idiot" under his breath

"I _heard_ that!" yelled the captain

His eyes flared, "fine! We're, we're…"

The Annoy Spock Sector Six!"

"_Why_ did I divorce my wife again? It can't have been that bad!"

"Way to be a party pooper Bones!"

"Whatever."

"Ignore him…. So I say we annoy Spock like this..." **insert conspiracy conference here**

After finishing his meditation, Spock decided to go and retrieve sustenance from the officers' mess. Spock felt that something was out of place, but he couldn't seem to find anything wrong…

He decided to find his beloved T'hy'la and ask if he noticed anything odd.

Touring the hallways with a Terran fruit he believed was called Appel… or something of the sort. It was inconsequential, and Spock would not be bothered by it (f.y.i., it's an apple). Or so he convinced himself.

Walking onto the bridge he was astounded to see an old fashioned band displayed on the large center screen.

A holographic band set was projected onto the screen and everyone in on the plan, minus Bones of course slid into their spots. Uhura started things up by miming drums as the music began, and Sulu followed on base guitar, and Chekov grabbed the normal guitar and they all mimed their instruments.

Then, the captain himself bounced onto the makeshift stage and over to the microphone began to sing.

Uhura had to stifle a laugh as she saw the telltale signs of a headache she had learned to perceive over their time together… remember boys and girls, a woman's revenge can be terrible…

When they got to about this part they realized that

("Come a little closer huh, ah will ya huh.  
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona.  
Keeping it a mystery gets to me  
Running down the length of my thighs, Sharona  
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.  
Always get it up for the touch  
of the younger kind. My my my I yi woo. M M M My Sharona...") 

Spock was not really visible. But the bridge was having too much fun so they kept on playing 

Then, things went bad,

"When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.  
It is just a matter of time Sha-"

James fell on the ground, a grim faced Spock standing over him

"Silly James… Songs are for people that can sing."

He lifted his lover up bridal style and left silently leaving the crew to stare open mouthed.

"Well then. I guess I'll take over" Bones shrugged and rushed to the microphone, and picked up where Jim had left off,

Just in time for the next stanza.

"When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.  
It is just a matter of time Sharona  
is it just destiny, destiny?  
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?  
Never gonna stop, give it up.  
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch  
of the younger kind. My my my I yi woo. M M M My Sharona..."

Let it never be said that Leonard McCoy can't sing… 


End file.
